The Time When

The Time When

When I was younger 
People saw me as "That Spanish Girl"
or
"that girl who loves dancing."
 
Was once that girl.
I've grown, like a strand
of hair unknown.
Now noticing that life
has different tabs
and chapters.
 
I see into a girl who
puts pressure on herself
for whatever reason.
Too much pressure,
as a needle shooting into your veins.
You're the wrestler.
Regretful.
Hears the words she can't
seem to get back to.
Feel as if I know I
can't do it
or it can't be done,
I give up.
 
Like a runner
who can't finish a race,
a soul who only goes halfway.
A chapter that has been
half way read
or
a knitted sweater
that has been torn to shreds.
Still afraid of what's next.
 
What will the next chapter be?
I smell fear.
My tears.
Will I cry? Will I die?
Will I always be this shy..
when trying to open up?
No looking back.
Remember when all to think about was what to wear tomorrow?
No looking back.
Do I match?
Oh my God, my hair!
I taste change..
It's all changed.
 
Bigger, serious things
that leave scars.
Deep scars.
Scars that will stay forever,
make me stronger and have me
Reminisce
on the time when.

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